The VanDemons: January 2011

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Another chapter in our story.....

...it was a bit of an exciting Christmas for us. I had a sneaking suspicion that we had another baby on the way. The day after boxing day we did the test and then did a little happy dance. Baby D Number 3 was on the way. A little quicker than expected, but coming nonetheless and we were over the moon.

Just after Christmas I went to the doctor and had BabyD confirmed and a couple of days later headed off to see the Dr Pat, the obstetrician. In 2008, we lost a baby at 12 weeks due to a neural tube defect called Anencephaly. As a result Dr Pat likes to see us early, get our dates exactly right, then sends us to Melbourne for specialised scans between 11 & 12 weeks. Anway, we had a scan and the scan dates & my dates were pretty much exactly the same.

The last couple of weeks has been the nervous, exciting time, with lots and lots of questions rolling around in our heads....How are we going to manage 3 kids? Where are we going to put 3 kids in this little house? What size carseats will fit across the back of the car? blah, blah, blah.......

After a fun night away in Ocean Grove with my sister and her husband, I woke up on Sunday just feeling bad! Not sick, just tired, irritable, tired, grumpy & tired. I just thought it was the lack of sleep & two kids spending the morning being buggers, and of course being 8 weeks pregnant, but I was wrong. By the time we got home on Sunday afternoon everything had gone just a little bit pear shaped and our baby was not to be........

I had to go the emergency department of our local hospital. The outlook wasn't good. I waited for a radiologist to be called in, but really we knew before then that it was all over. The radiologist just confirmed what we already knew. Our baby was gone.....and so begins the grieving process all over again...All I wanted to do was get home, get to bed, cuddle Sammy & cry, but I couldn't even do that. I had to spend the night in hospital. Such a sad and lonely place to be when you are all ready feeling so sad & lonely.....

This may be a strange thing to blog about, but I find it cathartic to write (although writing is clearly not my strength), it helps. This blog is about our lives and what happened is part of our story.

p-xx-